The Pact
by rbs89
Summary: After a week of difficult cases and a little too much to drink, they decide that if they're still single when Harry reaches forty, they'll get married. And the idea is starting to look a little less ridiculous to them now. H/N
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I'm pretty new to Silent Witness, but that being said, I've been inspired to write about Harry and Nikki. This was partly inspired by a friend who has made a pact to marry one of his best friends if either of them are unmarried when they hit 30.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the show, or the characters etc. **  
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**Chapter One**

It had started off with a few too many drinks.

The team had solved a trio of gruesome murders: one involving a couple who hadn't wanted to be parents, and had been pushed to the edge when the infant wouldn't stop crying; another involving middle aged children who had been eager to receive their inheritance; and a final case where a woman had been killed by her husband after discovering she had been pregnant.

The week had affected each member of the trio personally, emotionally, and had stirred up unpleasant memories, thoughts.

The natural conclusion had been to go out for drinks.

To forget.

To celebrate being alive.

To remember how to live.

Leo had left after two drinks, the void in his life left by Theresa and Cassie now filled by Janet. Not that she had been a replacement, but rather, a new character in another act of this play called Life. He had a hope that his colleagues hadn't yet found. While the case had brought up memories and wonderings of what-ifs, he could say honestly to himself that he was content with where he was and whom he was with in his life at this moment.

Nikki was a cheap drunk. Usually she was very conscious of what she was drinking, but tonight, after the week she had, all she wanted to was forget. Forget that parents could leave. Forget that she had a father. Forget that she was all alone in the world. Forget about what she had dreamed her life would be like when she was a child.

Harry was pensive. This whole week had involved children, and there was part of him that couldn't understand why parents did what they did. How was a parent supposed to love their child without hurting them? How was a child supposed to love their parent without being resentful or bitter? These questions were always in the back of his mind, locked away, but this week had caused them to flood his conscious and unconscious mind.

The pair sat next to each other, neither of them talking, both acknowledging somehow that this week had been difficult for both of them. Words didn't need to be spoken for them to understand that they were thinking of their parents. Fathers who had abandoned them when they were children. Mothers who hadn't coped well.

Both of their pasts were broken, but somehow they had muddled through life, and had come to know each other and depend on each other in a way that differed from every other relationship they ever had.

A glass of wine later, Nikki was in the mood to talk.

"I just don't understand how parents can have such little regard for their own children. We suppose that it would be natural to love your own flesh and blood, but then we see… what we see."

She couldn't quite say it, though. How parents could kill their child. Could abandon them. Could not love them.

"My worst nightmare is to end up a parent and not be able to love them," Harry said aloud. "I've never said that aloud, not even to myself. But I'm afraid that I'd be like him. That I'd be able to just leave."

"What a sorry pair we make," commented Nikki. "I've always wanted to be a mother though… be married, have my own family. But I suppose it'd be something that'll never happen. I'll be on the shelf, and I'll die wrinkly and alone, and no one will miss me. Much like you, I suspect, unless your mother outlives you"

"Well, that's a glowing reference if ever I heard one." The conversation was getting a bit too dark for Harry's liking, but he couldn't help adding to the morose topic of hopes drifting away and regrets of dreams unfulfilled.

"I'd always thought that I would have children one day. Hopefully before I was forty. You know my dad was almost 60 when he had me. And I remember resenting him for being so much older than all my friend's dads who were able to play rough with them and carry them on their shoulders. I wished that he hadn't spent so much of his time bettering the lives of other people, while I was somehow deprived from…from… I don't know, time, love, devotion, from my own father."

"I'm so sorry, Harry." Nikki said, not really knowing what to say, but there was genuine sincerity, concern, which Harry appreciated. Not even his mother could provide him the comfort, the consolation, which Nikki gave him.

They sat in silence for a while; talking about pleasanter times they had spent with their respective fathers. Although there were good times had with their dads, it was always the misery, the bitter taste of disappointment, that marred the memories.

"Sometimes I wonder why we let our past hold us back. It's just depressing thinking about what we want, but being afraid to do anything about it." Nikki ruminated.

"I'm just afraid of being like my father. I could not live with myself if I hurt my children, the mother of my flesh and blood, like my father did to us."

"But there's no guarantee that you _will_ end up like your father. You're not like him in essentials. From what I know of you, Harry Cunningham, you are not violent, you would never forget what is really important to you even when you think you've lost yourself to your temper, you're passionate about what you love and what concerns you. You're still the first person I call when I need help having a movie plot explained."

"You always seem to know what to say when I get into one of these moods, Nikki. I couldn't ask for a better friend had I looked all through the universe for someone that understood me better than myself."

"You're very welcome, Harry. And the sentiment is mutual."

"I'll go get us another drink. I felt inadequately prepared for all this sharing of touchy-feely emotional stuff."

* * *

><p><strong>Please let me know what you think- I am anxious for feedback. Will get to the mechanics of 'the pact' in the next chapter.<br>**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

It was a lot more drinks later, after they had moved to Harry's flat to continue commiserating about how empty and lonely their lives were, when Harry began talking about Anna.

Nikki hadn't been much surprised by the topic, although it was something that Harry rarely mentioned.

"You know, the moment when you told me she was pregnant, I thought it was a sign that I would never be a father. I had asked the unthinkable from Penny, and it was the universe somehow punishing me. And I thought I was fine with it. But really I'm not."

There were tears running down his face, and Nikki moved to wipe them off his face.

"Harry, don't be ridiculous. I'm sure that half the female population in London under the age of 25 wouldn't mind you being their baby daddy. I mean, if you could put up with me and all my deficiencies, I'm certain that a child would be a walk in the park," joked Nikki.

Then more seriously, "I think a child would be very lucky to have you as their father. I can see you spoiling your hypothetical daughter something rotten and sharing your love for aeroplanes with a hypothetical son."

"Well, if you think so Doctor Alexander, it must be so," Harry commented, trying to raise a smile. "But I mean, look at me. I'm thirty-eight. I'm bored of being a bachelor, but I feel incapable of a proper adult relationship. Scratch that, Anna told me that I was incapable of being serious in a relationship, and she was right. The most meaningful relationships I've had have been with my work colleagues."

"I'll have you know Doctor Cunningham, you don't have the monopoly on bored singledom. I most certainly hope that by the time I reach your age, I'd be in a proper relationship, with kids and the picket fence deal. And forty isn't that old, really, what with people dying later and all that. And I mean, look at Leo. He and Janet are looking to start a family, and he can't be that much younger than your father when you were born."

The pair sat back on Harry's couch, not speaking, but contemplating their situation.

Harry turned his head towards Nikki, still resting on the back of the sofa.

"I have a brilliant idea Nikki. We should get married."

Nikki choked on her drink, turning her head to see whether he was being serious or not.

"Pardon, what? Was that a proposal, or should I be getting you institutionalised?"

"Well, it'll solve our problems. Both of us want to have children, we're afraid of not being out accepted for our true selves by potential partners and lastly, let's face it, you luuurve me"

Nikki's heart lurched. That last comment had a lot more truth to it than he could know.

"Are you being serious, because I've had too much to drink for my sarcasm detector to be working."

"Absolutely. I propose that we make a pact. If we are still single when I turn forty, or at least not in proper, serious relationships, the two of us should get married. What do you think?"

Her first instinct was to say yes.

And because her scruples had abandoned her at that moment, she agreed, damn the consequences.

"I accept. Let's shake on it."

Nikki moved to take Harry's hand, but he lowered his head and stole a kiss.

One beat.

Two beats.

Three.

Harry sat back, looking at the shocked expression on Nikki Alexander's face that he'd seen once before in a tiny pub so many years ago.

"Deals like the one we've just made should be sealed with a kiss. Handshakes are okay for business, but we aren't business partners, and this isn't purely business."

Nikki giggled. "How many times have you used that line on under twenty-five year olds?"

Harry chuckled, ignoring the jibe. "Well, Nicola Alexander, I look forward to the possibility of calling you Mrs. Cunningham in eighteen months. Do you feel as though your life had changed dramatically in the last ten minutes?"

Nikki paused, looking thoughtful. "Not really," she replied truthfully, "I can't really comprehend when eighteen months from now is, but if you ask me tomorrow when I'm sober, I'll let you know."

Nikki looked at the coffee table in front of them, littered with their glasses and empty bottles of wine, and sighed.

"There's no more wine. That's my sign to leave, I think." But Nikki didn't make a move to leave.

"Well, there's scotch in the kitchen if you want more booze. But I think attempting to stand up may result in being over friendly with the hardwood floor. I'm surprised that we even made it back here without a detour to A&E, considering those things you call shoes."

This was familiar territory for both of them, being drunk, sitting next to each other and one of them not wanting the other to go home.

Nikki made some comment about how the shoes showed off some of her attributes to best advantage as Harry moved to close the curtains, turning the tv on to the late night movie, before returning to the sofa, next to Nikki, who made herself comfortable on his chest as he rested his arm around her neck.

Nikki was the first to fall asleep, her breathing evening out before the end of the movie.

Harry imagined their children.

A little girl with Nikki's golden hair and unwavering curiosity for truth, who he'd spoil rotten.

A little boy that would share his love for aeroplanes, who would sit on his shoulders and see the world in a way that he never had. Hopefully their boy would be a little less serious than he had been when he was a boy.

There would have to be at least two. He and Nikki had often talked about how lonely childhood had been, being all by themselves when the children around them found them strange and pointed at them, their home situation the fodder of thoughtless teenage gossip.

Harry was certain of one thing. He and Nikki would do anything to make sure their children's lives would be nothing like their own childhood.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Nikki was aware of several things as she woke.

First of all was that she had somehow been moved from Harry's sofa to his bed. Probably by Harry.

Second of all, some sort of electrical device was exerting an irritating beeping sound near her head.

And third of all, there was a half naked Harry, looking harassed as he was putting on trousers that Nikki was certain he had worn the previous day.

Nikki looked on appreciatively, hoping he wouldn't notice her being awake too quickly.

Eventually noticing she was awake, he pointed at the paracetemol and water he had placed on the bed stand.

"Thank God I'm not on call."

"Good morning to you too, Nikki. Oh, the paracetemol was no problem. Yes, of course I'm up to going to the scene by myself."

Nikki attempted not to giggle as she sat up and swallowed the two pills.

"Morning Harry. Do you know if it's anything interesting?"

"It's a single vehicle collision. Probably a drunk driver. No need to get out of bed. I'll probably be back by the time the pills start working. When I get back we'll go out for lunch."

Nikki nodded, suggesting a café, before collapsing back into the bed.

Harry looked at Nikki, shaking his head, before leaving.

As he reached the front door, he called out to Nikki.

"Did you like what you saw, Nikki?"

And laughed as he closed the door.

* * *

><p>Once Nikki was resigned to the fact that she wouldn't be getting any more sleep, she got out of bed and wandered into the living room, remembering bits and pieces of the conversation from the previous night.<p>

It had started off with them talking about their childhood, and then onto wanting to have children, and then… getting married to each other?

Maybe she should be institutionalised, Nikki thought, for agreeing to marry Harry when drunk.

Well, they hadn't exactly agreed to get married. They had agreed to get married at some point of the future if they hadn't met "the One" by the time Harry was 40.

Of course Nikki already knew who "the One" for her was.

A part of her had known for a long time, but she had been absolutely certain of it since the Budapest incident.

The hope that the two of them would see sense, and for the lack of better words, get together.

But what about love?

Nikki knew her own heart, but what about Harry?

She knew they were attracted to each other, and that there was some chemistry between them.

But was it just physical attraction and brotherly affection that he felt for her?

Deciding to put off such confusing thoughts, Nikki decided to clean herself up before Harry returned.

* * *

><p>Harry didn't take the most direct route back home.<p>

The accident seemed pretty straight forward, and the PM could wait till Monday, in accordance to Leo's strict new system for prioritising examinations in terms of urgency. Bloody politicians with their budgeting and expecting more results with fewer resources.

Switching his mind from work to what awaited him at home, Harry thought about the situation he now found himself in.

Harry wanted to have a game plan in mind before stepping into the minefield of female logic that escaped the comprehension of most men.

Should he laugh off last night, or ignore it and pretend it had never happened?

Part of himself felt like an absolute twit for coming up with the proposition. He realised the idea of it, of marrying Nikki Alexander, was something he knew in his heart he really wanted. He loved her, of that he was certain.

However, it had probably sounded more like a desperate plea to avoid being forever alone and lonely last night.

Then again, Nikki hadn't adamantly disagreed to the idea. In fact, he could have sworn, in his alcohol blurred memory, that she had seemed… hopeful at the idea of marrying him, and having children with him. Just for a moment, before she hid behind sarcasm and wit.

And the kiss.

Although there hadn't been any "serious" action, just being connected with Nikki so intimately, not just emotionally but physically, was something he craved to feel again.

Deciding that leaving himself to his own thoughts would be helpful to no one, and potentially dangerous to other people using the road, he headed back home, unsure about everything, but certain that something had to be said between the two of them.

* * *

><p>"Were you being serious?"<p>

Harry came into the living room, where Nikki had perched herself on the sofa, looking expectantly at Harry.

"What if I hadn't?"

"I don't know. Somewhat relieved, I suppose."

"And what if I was being serious about getting married some time in the future?"

"Confused. Maybe a little bit unsure why you chose me out of all the women you've been with and know."

"Nikki," Harry sighed, setting himself down on the sofa. "I think I was being serious last night. You know all my baggage, about my fear of being a father and husband. You've seen me in times and places that no one else ever has. And to be honest, I don't think I could open myself up like that, to be as vulnerable and helpless as you've seen me, to another person ever again. I think that's why my drunk self chose you."

"Ok." Nikki said, not really knowing how to respond. _He hadn't mentioned love_ was all that she could think.

"Is that all you have to say? Ok?" replied Harry, clearly agitated, and yet in control of his responses. He had just revealed a lot of his heart to Nikki, and he felt that an "OK" was inadequate.

"I just… I just need to process what you've just told me."

"Ok. We can talk about this later. You still have some time before I turn forty. I'm going to clean up before lunch. Give me ten minutes."

And without waiting for a response, Harry left the room.

Nikki remained on the sofa, trying to understand him. Trying to see if she could make him fall in love with her.

Nikki knew that he felt affection for her. That much was clear to her. And affection was a type of love. Their relationship wasn't purely platonic- they were both guilty of being emotionally unfaithful in their past relationships. In fact, the only times they had been serious about their lives, their hopes and dreams, had been with each other.

But romantic love?

Harry had returned to the room, looking rather nice in casual clothes.

"Lunch?"

Only time could tell, decided Nikki, and worrying about it won't make it any more or less possible.

Nikki got up and stood in front of Harry.

"I just want you to know that I was serious last night when I agreed to your proposition." Nikki said gently.

"Good, I think" Harry replied.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

It was Monday.

The first day back at the Lyell Centre since Harry and Nikki had agreed to _it_.

It wasn't awkward.

There wasn't tension.

It was work as usual.

Leo watched the pair from his office.

Something must have happened, Leo thought. Things haven't been like this since before Hungary.

Although it wasn't his business to pry into their complex, and mostly confusing, relationship as boss, but as a friend…

The previous week, he had thought (once again) about locking the two in a supplies closet after they had begun to bicker over their cases. Although Leo knew it was one of the ways they dealt with emotionally difficult cases, being privy to Nikki's feelings, he wanted them to sort themselves out. To get to the heart of their feelings for each other, which was plain to anyone who knew them.

Leo wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know what had happened to bring about the current calm at the lab. His greatest fear was that they had done something reckless and foolish, without real thought on the impact it would have on not only their relationship, but also their emotional well being. He was afraid that this was just a temporary fix, to be undone at the next big crisis or battle.

If only they could understand the looks they gave each other, loaded with feelings and hope, and could see that it wasn't really impossible for them to be together.

If only they could open that last part of themselves to each other.

Shaking his head, Leo continued on with the paperwork set out in front of him. He may not enjoy admin work, but at least it wasn't fraught with feelings and emotions and matters of the heart.

* * *

><p>Although things had been, on the whole, better at work, there was still much left unsaid between the two that needed to be clarified.<p>

There was a mutual fear of rejection, not being good enough for the other.

For all his cockiness and confidence, Nikki knew that Harry felt deeply and prone to emotional extremes that he didn't quite know how to handle.

Nikki knew that the next eighteen months would be difficult for her. Internally she was warring between emotion and pragmatism. Thoughts of what-ifs and if-only's plagued her mind when she was by herself. What should she feel if Harry went out on a date with one his twenty-five year olds and slept with them? How should she conduct herself around him to show she didn't mind or care?

It would be easier for everyone to deny, if only temporarily, her feelings, as she had been doing before Hungary.

* * *

><p>Harry wasn't sure quite what to do.<p>

Since making this pact, the idea of marrying Nikki was growing on him a lot more than he cared to admit.

For a long time, he regretted not pursuing her after the whole Penny incident. Nikki had accepted him in spite of his selfishness when he had been young. No other women would have been so forgiving.

Nikki really deserved to marry for love, not out of obligation to an agreement made when drunk.

Although he did not want to, he suspected the next eighteen months, for him in any case, would be spent on perpetual tenterhooks, afraid that Nikki would find The One, or discover something about him that would make it impossible for her to marry him (not that he could think of anything worse than what she already knew of him.)

The thought of Nikki going on dates with Unsuitables was discomforting, and he groaned at the thought of picking up girls at bars, blind dates and meaningless sex.

At that thought, he was astonished that he sounded so jaded, as though he was having a mid life crisis. At thirty-eight.

Perhaps he should somehow begin subtly courting Nikki, make her fall in love with him in the next eighteen months.

With an idea about a course of action, Harry settled back to his current case- the rather dull but straightforward vehicle collision from the weekend.

* * *

><p>It had been a quiet day at the lab, and promptly at 6, Leo left the lab, reminding Nikki and Harry that they on call that evening as Leo had planned an evening out with Janet.<p>

Nikki and Harry rolled their eyes and chuckled as Leo realised he was missing something, patting at the pockets of his coat, and then checking his trouser pockets.

"Top drawer at your desk" Nikki said drolly. "You've been banging on about the concert tonight for the past three months, it's not likely we could have forgotten."

Having retrieved the tickets, Leo promptly left, mumbling something about traffic in London.

"Do you ever wonder why Leo and Janet haven't married?" Nikki asked out of curiosity. "I mean, they love each other, they live together, they're planning to start a family together."

"I suppose it's because Leo's been married before, and it ended so tragically. Anyway, times are different; one doesn't need to be married to be in a committed, loving relationship."

"I suppose," Nikki sighed. "But I always imagined that when you're madly in love with someone, and they're madly in love with you, that the natural next step would be to get married."

"You romantic sop, you've been reading too many of your Mills and Boon novels."

"Oh shut up, Mr. Romantic."

"I think I'm more pragmatic than romantic. I mean, we agreed to marry each other, and unless we're both secretly in love with the other, I would be crushing every romantic notion you have ever had about the institution."

How could he have been so stupid to suggest being secretly in love to her, he wondered.

"I know that. I didn't say that every marriage was made on the basis of love. In fact, anthropologically speaking…"

Nikki was interrupted from her mini lecture when phone rang.

Their conversation would have to continue later.

There was a body washed up in a near by a river.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

It was the eve of Harry's thirty-ninth birthday.

And at the rate his current case was going, he'd be at the lab the next evening going through a mountain of evidence with a fine tooth comb instead of getting drunk to forget how old he was. The idiot detective had ordered what appeared to be every article of clothing belonging to the victim to be put into evidence, and it was up to Harry to go through it all.

Nikki wasn't faring much better with her current victim. A set of decomposed remains had been found on some farm when some overachieving farmer had decided to have one of his unused fields dug up. There was obvious indication of cosmetic surgery, with evidence of extensive chiseling on the mandible, maxilla and zygomatic, making it difficult to identify the remains through facial reconstructions. She was currently at a dead end while she waited for test results, but on principle she couldn't just go home when there was someone's daughter or lover or friend missing them.

Leo on the other hand had no such scruple in leaving his unfinished cases at work. He had told Nikki and Harry to bugger off home at a decent hour before he left to attend a lecture at a neighbouring university.

Harry was alternating between huffing and tutting as he paced around the conference room, attempting to get a word edge-ways as DC Phillip Reed, dubbed DC Know-It-All by Harry, reiterated to him, for the umpteenth time, the role of a forensic pathologist in solving crimes. Harry looked on the edge of giving the DC some choice criticisms he had of the police force.

Nikki giggled from her desk as she watched through the windows, glad that no one had the foresight to shut the blinds, allowing her to enjoy Harry's torment. As if sensing someone watching him, Harry glanced over at out the window, meeting Nikki's eyes, before rolling his eyes and making a rude gesture at DC Reed who was at that moment looking away from Harry.

After the DC was satisfied that Harry was fully informed of his part in the investigation, he left, but not before reminding him not to go out sleuthing by himself if he came across anything pertinent to the case.

Harry sighed in relief as he let the police officer out, before returning to his desk, looking disbelieved at Nikki.

"I can't believe I was just lectured about police procedure. I've been doing this bloody longer than he's been on the bloody beat, yet he spoke to me like I was a kid about to ride his bike for the first time. Unbelievable."

Nikki laughed in response.

"Harry, he probably didn't intend to be condescending. It's his first big murder case, and he doesn't want to screw up... But I'm glad you got the case, not me."

"And for a moment, I thought you would sympathise with me, and tell me that he was a git who still lived with his mum and wears Star Wars pajamas to bed. I mean he looks like he's twelve!"

"Oh, stop whingeing Harry. Next you'll be complaining that when you were his age, you were his age you were tucked into bed at half eight and did what your elders told you to do."

"Shut up, I'll have you know when I was his age, I was doing things I would never ever write home about," Harry retorted, before changing the subject. "How's your case going?"

"I think I'm going to call it a day. I'm hoping that I'll get the results from her wisdom teeth in the next couple of days so we can determine where she grew up, but until then, I've exhausted every other method of identification."

"How about joining me for pre-birthday drinks. You can help me ring in the beginning of the end of my thirties."

"Oh yes please, Grandpa. I'll shout the first round."

* * *

><p>The bar was relatively quiet, seeing as it was a workday. Harry and Nikki had their usual drinks: imported beer for him; girly cocktail with an umbrella for her.<p>

Sitting in a booth in the corner of the pub, Harry recounted an escapade from his youth, namely his first encounter in a pub when he was seventeen.

Nikki was certain that the tale was being embellished, but that didn't stop her from giggling like an idiot into her drink, needing to catch her breath when he concluded the story.

Harry sat back, allowing Nikki to regain her breath, thinking about how comfortable he was in that moment, with Nikki, having a laugh. But there was another part of him that wasn't quite content.

Neither he nor Nikki had seen anyone seriously for the past six months. There were a few dinner dates here and there, but nothing that had felt worth pursuing, for him, anyway. They would laugh it off when the relationship fizzled out to nothing, pretending that work was stopping them from going any further, when they both knew it was because the connection they had with Helen or Matthew was nothing like the connection they had with each other.

They continued talking about inconsequential things, happy just to be in each others presence in a place that wasn't work. As Harry became conscious about the amount he had drank and how late it was getting, he lightly commented that he shouldn't have another drink, lest he get told off by DC Know-It-All for not being professional.

"It's five past midnight. Let me be the first person to wish you Happy Birthday, Doctor Harry Cunningham," said a euphoric Nikki, before she leant in and kissed Harry.

_Right on the lips_, Harry thought. Not on the forehead or the cheek. The lips.

Harry didn't quite know what to do, and so he did nothing at all.

Nikki broke the kiss, questioning Harry with her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know what I was… I think I've had too much to drink. I should just go… Goodnight Harry," Nikki said repentantly, mistaking Harry's inaction as disapproval.

She got up to leave, quickly making her way to the exit.

It wasn't until Nikki had made it to the door that his mind could process what had just occurred, and he got up from the table, following Nikki into the night.

Nikki was standing at the curb, attempting to flag down a taxi, when Harry grabbed her arm.

Nikki turned towards Harry, tears falling from her face.

Seeing her tears, Harry drew Nikki into his arms, her head resting on his shoulders, the embrace both familiar and different from all the other hugs they'd ever shared.

Harry pushed Nikki back so he could see her eyes, before bending down and kissing her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

This time, the kiss wasn't stolen, used to shut somebody up.

This time, it wasn't a mere kiss between friends.

This time, it wasn't unreciprocated.

In his arms, Nikki felt safe. At home.

And she felt no urgency to leave, to flee.

After an interminable period of time, after his kiss was returned and they had both found satisfaction in the act, there was an awkward moment, both unsure what to do next, what to say.

"I'm not sorry," Harry started, without the usual glean of joviality in his eyes.

And Nikki knew that Harry meant what he had said.

He wasn't sorry that they had kissed.

"Neither am I," replied Nikki, smiling shyly at Harry.

Both knew what they wanted in that moment, to be together, but there was also the feeling of not yet.

They knew that they weren't really ready to be together.

A part of Harry was still the young boy, angry at the world, and still not confident that he knew how to get what he really wanted. And he wasn't sure if he was ready to be what Nikki wanted him to be.

And part of Nikki was still the lost girl, looking for her place in the world where she could be confident that she did fit in as she was.

"I… It's getting late. Why don't we share a taxi?" Harry suggested, completely lost on what to say.

"Sure… wouldn't want you to be in trouble with DC Know-It-All." Nikki feebly replied.

They held hands as Harry flagged down a taxi. After dispatching their addresses to the driver, Harry turned to Nikki, who was looking out the window.

"I don't think we're ready yet to start anything serious. I don't think I'm ready yet to… you know."

"Me too. I want it, but we've been dancing around it for so long… I don't quite know what I'd do if we finally did… get our act together" Nikki concluded, thinking about the conversation she had with Leo all that time ago in Hungary.

"So it's not a no, but a not yet. A promise for the future."

"A promise," Nikki repeated, snuggling into Harry's side.

* * *

><p>"You're unusually chirpy this morning, Nikki," observed Leo.<p>

"That's because I've started reminding Harry about how close he is to the inevitable dilemma of every man."

"Oh, and what's that? Needing to choose between a Ferrari or a Porsche?"

"That and the inevitable receding hairline..."

Leo swatted Nikki with a case file.

"Where is Harry, anyway? He asked me to sign off on fast-tracking some tests."

"He's in there," Nikki replied gleefully, indicated to the conference room, where Harry was attempting to update DC Reed on what he had found. "I think it's DC Reed's first murder, the way he repeats sections of the police handbook to Harry."

Leo chuckled.

"How are you going with your victim? Have you been able to ID her yet?"

"No," sighed Nikki. "Until the lab results come in on the wisdom teeth, I've hit a brick wall."

"Then you wouldn't mind doing the PM on a Mrs. Lottie Keller. Pretty straight forward. 76, massive stroke."

There had been a breakthrough on Harry's murder victim, and the prime suspect was now in custody, which meant he was now at liberty to spend the evening however he wished.

Nikki was still waiting for lab results on her unknown female victim, and the PM she performed in the afternoon was a straightforward, textbook case of a massive stroke.

* * *

><p>The three of them had planned drinks and dinner with Janet. Leo was on call, allowing that although he wasn't <em>that<em> old, his body wasn't able to metabolise alcohol as efficiently as when he was younger.

Harry and Nikki had laughed when Leo admitted the limitation, and Leo thought, once again, how it could be so good for both of them to be together. He felt akin to a father, knowing what was best for his children, but wanting them to find the path for themselves.

After drinks and dinner, Leo and Janet made their excuses, urging the pair to continue enjoying their evening without them.

After they had left, Harry wondered aloud if Leo and Janet knew about the changes in their relationship.

"Oh Harry, if everyone we know think we're somehow secretly together, it would make sense that Leo and Janet probably think the something was happening between us. Maybe not being _together _together, but something more than friendship… And for once, they'd be right," Nikki finished shyly.

"And for once, I don't mind other people being right," Harry replied gently, looking at Nikki seriously. "You know, I thought I'd be getting absolutely plastered tonight, moaning about being a bachelor, but I'm glad that I'm spending my birthday with you."

"Thanks, I think. But I do plan on drinking you under the table, you know."

"Oi, just because I'm older than you doesn't negate the fact that you, Dr Nikki Alexander, are a lightweight".

Harry realised his mistake in challenging Nikki when he noticed the glimmer in her eyes.

"Oh God, what am I getting myself into?"

* * *

><p>The pair of them had moved on from the posh restaurant to a bar, where Nikki had promptly ordered a line of shots.<p>

While Harry was certain he would regret doing this, he couldn't allow his pride to be bruised by Nikki's taunts.

He and Nikki picked up the first shot and after raising the shot glass as a toast, downed the drink.

He felt that it was going to be a long night.

* * *

><p>It was some time around 2 AM, maybe a bit before, maybe a lot more after, when they stumbled out of the pub. They had made their way through several of London's finest establishments, after reminiscing over their first college pub-crawls.<p>

They were trying to flag down a taxi, spontaneously breaking out in laughter when they realised it wasn't a taxi coming down the street.

Eventually, they managed to clamour into a black cab. Harry was determined to see Nikki home, but hopelessly unsure what would happen next, with Nikki in his arms, almost on his lap.

It really had been mistake to have given into his pride.

How could he have been so irresponsible and drunk so much? He castigated himself. He wasn't as indestructible as he was when he was a resident, and he knew that he would be full of regret the next morning. But right in that moment, he wouldn't change anything, for Nikki was with him, in his arms.

Nikki found being in Harry's arms comforting and relaxing. Warm. Familiar.

She heard Harry give the driver her address.

She was just going to close her eyes, she decided, just until she got home.

And the next thing she knew, it was morning, the blinds were open, she was very hung-over, and she was naked in her bed.

With an equally unclothed Harry next to her.

And she didn't know how the last two things had happened.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Harry was aware that something on the bed was moving.

He was certain that this bed he was in was not his own, and judging by the smell of the sheets, was most likely Nikki's.

Thoughts of '_Oh God what happened last night'_ filled Harry's mind, as he attempted to recall the events of the previous night, with little success. All he could remember was copious amounts of alcohol and a taxi ride back. _To here_.

And he was pretty sure that he was in his birthday suit.

But he didn't feel like he had… _it_ last night. _Then why wasn't he wearing anything?_

Slowly, he opened his eyes, trying to minimise the impact of the morning light on his hungover head. Not that it was worked much.

He swore quietly, alerting Nikki to his stage of consciousness.

"We didn't, did we?" was all Nikki asked as he sat up, trying to protect his modesty as she gathered the sheets around her.

"I- would it be so bad if we had?" Harry asked, unsure what to say or think.

"I'm not sure."

"I don't think we did."

"Oh thank God!"

Relief

"I don't remember how I got into your bed, to be honest."

"I don't remember anything after getting into the cab."

A pregnant pause.

"God, this whole situation is ridiculous. We're bloody old enough to know better, but we're still acting like we're residents. Or at least I am. You're not the one staring the forties in the face."

"Stop being so melodramatic, Harry" Nikki scolded

"I am not being melodramatic" Harry retorted, reminding Nikki of a petulant child, and she laughed.

"I think we're too hungover to have a proper D&M. Shut your eyes. I'd really like to have a shower and put on some clothes."

"Fine. They're closed. Want to check?"

Harry suspected it was a pillow that Nikki had used to swat him.

* * *

><p>Breakfast was an awkward affair, as the words and actions from the previous night were laid bare in the severe light of day in their minds.<p>

"This is possibly the vilest breakfast cereal I've ever eaten, Nikki. How on earth do you get out of bed in morning with _this_ to face?" Harry made a face at his bowl of cereal that was beginning to resemble brown sludge.

"Oh Harry, I know it's not covered in sugar or full of artificial colourings, but it's good for you. It's made of five different wholegrains and is high in insoluble fibre-"

"Thank you, but I am capable of reading the side of the box. But don't let me get started on this stuff you call _milk_, because it tastes more like water to me. I can't believe you didn't have any _real_ food in your kitchen."

"Shut up Harry. Usually when I'm not hungover on a Saturday morning I do the groceries. And you are free to find your breakfast elsewhere if my skim milk offends you."

"But then I wouldn't be able to bask in your glorious presence."

"You always have an excuse for everything. If only you channeled your intelligence more productively, you wouldn't be where you are right now."

"And where, Doctor Alexander, is that?"

"Terribly hungover, sitting in my home, eating what was at some point cereal, but now resembles soggy cardboard."

"How about we go to the markets after I dispose this muck? I know how much you love going and I can be an extra set of hands…"

"Fine. But don't you dare complain when I insist on visiting every stall."

* * *

><p>"Nikki, the tomatoes are all priced the same. Just pick a stall and buy them." Harry complained, already exhausted after half an hour of wandering through the market.<p>

"Harry!" Nikki scolded. "You don't have to be here. You invited yourself along, and I won't be offended if you uninvited yourself."

"Fine." Harry responded petulantly. "I'll be over there," pointing at a second hand bookstore. "Let me take those bags, and you can come and find me when you're done. Then I'll treat you to a late lunch."

* * *

><p>The late lunch was a picnic at a neigbouring park. Nikki supposed that Harry hadn't been idle when she had been on her own shopping, and was somewhat pleased that Harry had chosen to stay with her instead of abandoning her and finding entertainment elsewhere.<p>

Harry was meticulously setting out their lunch of cheese, fruit and bread on the picnic rug, while Nikki looked around and noticed the jealous looks she was receiving from other women in the park. She had never denied that Harry was rather attractive, to herself anyway, and couldn't believe that he had chosen skinny little her, rather than a more voluptuous brunette.

Harry indicated they should start eating, the conversation light and amusing. Harry apologised for the lack of wine, declaring cheekily that it would be a challenge for them to not touch a drop of alcohol for twenty-four hours.

Once the remains of the food were packed away, they both lay down on the rug next to each other.

"I wish this weekend never had to end" Nikki announced rather spontaneously.

"This sun is rather glorious. And the prospect of never having to go back to work is appealing."

Nikki laughed. "I'm sure Leo wouldn't thank us for saying that. He's on call the entire weekend."

Harry propped himself on his arm, facing Nikki, the mood changing.

"You know, I rather liked being domestic with you today."

"Really, Harry, even when we were at the markets and you were whingeing non-stop?"

"I think that was to be expected. But waking up with you, having breakfast, going out together… it felt so… natural… so normal."

"You're making us sound like a couple who've been married for a decade. But I suppose it wasn't unpleasant to have you as a companion for shopping… when you weren't there."

A pause.

"You want to talk about _it_, don't you."

"Don't you think we should, Nikki?"

"I suppose this is as good a time as any."

"So we both want to marry each other…"


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"I think 'yes' is the short answer."

"I suppose we should talk about why."

"You first, Harry."

"Companionship. Camaraderie. Mutual attraction. Because we understand each other. Because there's something between us that we won't be able to find with anybody else." _Mustn't mention love though._ "Isn't that enough to start with?"

Nikki felt somewhat disappointed with Harry's list. _God, that list sounds like something from a Jane Austen novel. And I know that women in Jane Austen's days were lucky to find any of those things with their prospective husband,_ thought Nikki. _And he hadn't mentioned love_.

"God Harry, that is so unromantic. I used to dream that I'd marry for love, in a white meringue dress and a bad perm with a guy that was head over heels in love with me."

Part of Harry wanted to scream "That's me! I am head over heels in love with you." Instead he remained quiet, searching Nikki's face, her eyes.

"But," Nikki continued, "I think with you, Harry Cunningham, I could be, would be, satisfied, even happy with my life."

"But what about head over heels love?"

"Well, what does it mean to be in love? I think I've become cynical with all the things that are said to be done by someone 'in love', and it seems to me that it causes people to lose their minds and do things that they would never had done had they not been 'in love'. I don't want to become a brainless idiot that can't tell the difference between right and wrong."

Not wanting to make light of Nikki's problems, but not really knowing what to say, Harry looked off at the distance. "I don't think that when you are really, properly in love you lose your mind. I think that if the relationship is healthy, and both people were, you know, mentally stable, then being in love couldn't possibly result in you being a brainless idiot. I mean, what if we, by some strange twist of fate, managed to fall in love with each other after we got married, would you feel like you'd have to leave?"

"I couldn't say right now… I know you wouldn't let me do anything stupid that could hurt someone else. But do you think it's possible for us to be 'in love', Harry?"

"I think there is something between us that could turn into that sort of love, if it was cultivated carefully," said Harry, rather enigmatically.

"You make love sound like a plant" laughed Nikki, amused with Harry's analogy.

"Well, we also need water and sunlight to continue existing…"

And the rest of the afternoon descended into silliness, with the conversation at the back of their minds the entire time.

* * *

><p>The next day, Sunday, Leo called Harry to an accident site, where a number of seemingly random factors had resulted in multiple fatalities.<p>

There was a rather sophisticated triage system set up at the scene, and Harry wandered through the various sections, wondering what exactly had started the unfortunate series of events when had led to a gas explosion, a fire and building collapse.

While any one of those events would have been unfortunate by itself, the impact of a woman committing suicide, an arsonist and a drunk driver did more damage together than it would have if the incidents had been separate. It was the perverse kind of synergy that led to an existential examination of life.

After donning the mandatory kit, he made his way to Leo, who was directing the movement of a young boy, and couldn't help but despair over the loss of young lives.

Leo acknowledged Harry, a grim smile and sorrowful eyes.

"Nobody would want to wake up to this on a Sunday morning" Leo sighed. "Let's get on with it."

* * *

><p>They worked for seemed like an age.<p>

They had recovered five bodies and there were six criticals, two that were declared dead before reaching the hospital.

Seven lives had been lost because of three irresponsible people.

Was it love that drove the three individuals to causing the deaths of four others?

Harry knew he wouldn't be able to make sense of this tragedy by himself. Like in times gone by, he would turn to Nikki and her unique way of understanding how the world worked.

This was why he needed Nikki. Without her he would merely be passing through the world, like a traveller in a foreign land. By her side, though, the world made sense somehow- the good, the bad and the ugly.

And in turn, he comforted her from the world's cruelties. He was her constant where everything else was fleeting and fickle.

Harry knew that continuing this line of thought would not be useful to anyone, particularly the victims of the horrific event of other people's thoughtlessness.

He watched as the bodies were bagged up.

There was a sort of tedium in his task ahead.

Finding cause of death would not be difficult.

The difficulty in what lay ahead was the fact that the world would continue turning, but the lives of the families would never, _could never_, be the same.

* * *

><p>After a preliminary examinations of the bodies, Leo insisted Harry go home.<p>

It was cheaper for them to be working overtime during the week than to be working Sunday.

Having spent the previous day with Nikki, he hesitated on calling her. He didn't want to be an imposition, considering Nikki had her own life, with her own friends. Like he used to.

Now all his friends had families and spent their weekends socialising with other families. His friends may bemoan him his bachelorhood, but he could see that they wouldn't trade their families for it.

Instead, he wandered the streets, looking disinterestedly at shop windows and thinking about future things.

Things that he used to keep locked up at the back of his mind, before the pact with Nikki. Thoughts that invaded his mind when he was alone.

Thoughts of having a little girl dressed up as a princess, or a little boy as a pilot.

Thoughts of reading to them at bedtime and sharing the world with them excited him more than he realised.

Even he was slightly disenchanted with the idea of not being accountable to anyone in his personal life.

He wanted to talk about this to Nikki, but he was afraid he might just scare her off. He didn't even know if Nikki wanted to be a professional, working mother or a barefooted, pregnant housewife.

He knew what he needed to do.

He needed to properly date Nikki.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

It had been a month since Harry's 39th, and he still hadn't done it.

Asked Nikki out, that was.

It was quite pathetic really.

There just hadn't been the 'right' circumstance to ask, what with people dying and inconsiderately killing each other, intentionally and accidentally.

And, all right, he may have been a _bit_ nervous about asking her out on a proper date.

Because to him, dating and Nikki were strangely incongruous.

Dating for him in the past hadn't been serious. As crude as it sounded, it had been a temporary way of keeping his bed warm and his mind away from thoughts of loneliness and forever.

Then it hit him.

They were treating their agreement as though they would be settling for each other, that there could be a better option for them somewhere out there in the world.

But Harry knew that she was it.

She was it for him.

He couldn't imagine the rest of his life without her, and he really had to get up and do something. Ask her out on a date.

But what would be an appropriate first date for them?

It was time to test how well he knew Nikki and the abilities of Google.

After half an hour of Googling everything he knew Nikki enjoyed, Harry had come up with three possible first dates.

First was the opera. Although he wasn't particularly keen on opera himself, what with the foreign language and the ear-splitting screeching of the leading lady, he knew it was something that would show her that he valued her more than a convenient shag or hook up.

Secondly was a visit to the West End to see Legally Blonde. He knew how much Nikki enjoyed the film and it would be less painful than the opera. And he'd be able to make blonde jokes for the next week.

But finally, and the most appealing of all, was a performance by a South African electric cellist. Nikki herself played the cello, and he knew that she would enjoy something a little bit different.

So he had bought tickets, and now only had to ask Nikki out.

* * *

><p>It was the end of the day, and they were both doing paperwork, having been told off by Leo for being slack earlier that day. While Harry was used to being told off, Nikki had felt affronted, and was determined to complete all her paperwork.<p>

Scrawling his signature on his last file for the night, Harry screwed up his courage to ask her.

He had practiced several variations of the same questions, feeling foolish in front of the mirror, but he couldn't hold off asking her anymore, as the tickets were for the end of the week.

_Play it cool and casual_, he thought to himself, then remembering that he was more of an idiot than usual when he tried that.

"Err… Nikki? I was just um… are you free on Friday evening?"

"Y-"

"I mean, I know you have your own friends, and probably have a million things that you've been invited to and would rather attend…"

"H-Harry, I'm not-"

"Don't worry about it, I mean, it's quite stupid of me to ask you at such late notice…"

"Harry, stop talking…"

"I should really get on with my work…"

"Harry!"

Harry stopped muttering to himself, and rather hesitantly indicated that Nikki should speak.

"As a matter of fact, I am free on Friday evening. Where were you planning on taking me to?"

"Well, I have two tickets to something I think you'd enjoy. And it would be good to spend time with you not worrying about murderers and dead people…"

"Ooh, what did you get tickets to? It better not be to a classic rock band that you enjoyed when you were a resident. Or Peking opera."

"Oh ha-ha. Don't worry, it'll definitely be something that you'll enjoy. But it's a surprise."

"But you know how much I hate surprises. Do I have to dress up? Will I have to brush up on my table etiquette? Come on Harry, give me a clue. An itsy bitsy one. You know I'm going to be unbearable until Friday."

"Too bad. And yes, you'll need to dress up. I've booked us a table at the new Italian place in town that Janet raved about."

"Don't think I won't give up. I have three days to break you, and greater men than you have been left crying."

"I'll keep that in mind. Anyway, are you done yet? I could call in some Thai if you're keen."

With a flourish, Nikki signed off and neatly stacked the last of her files in her out tray.

"Nup, I'm done." Giving Harry's haphazard pile a dirty look. "I've got a good bottle of red at home, why don't we shift to my place and pick up something on the way."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Excellent. I bet you'll have told me where we're going by the time the wine's been demolished."

"Haha, good luck."

"Luck has nothing to do with it. It's all skill."

* * *

><p>"Haaaaaryyyyy."<p>

"No."

"Pleeeeeeeeeasssse?"

"No."

"Humph. You're no fun." Nikki pouted.

"I thought it was _all skill_." Harry teased", giving Nikki a poke to her side.

"Shut up." Nikki responded petulantly. "Anyway, why did you ask me out? Is it a date?"

Harry didn't respond.

"Do you want it to be?" Nikki prodded

A pregnant pause.

"Do you want it to be?" Harry parroted.

"I asked you first…"

"I think… Yes, I want this to be a date."

"Why?"

"Well, it wouldn't be very romantic of us telling our children that we just agreed to get married when I turned forty. I mean, a date here and there wouldn't be so difficult for us, would it?"

Nikki slowly nodded. "Makes sense, I suppose."

"How about you? Is Friday going to be a date?"

"Yes, I suppose it is then." Nikki answered, smiling at the idea of going out on a date with Harry.

"Good."

They sat in comfortable silence, before Harry came to his senses and made a move to clear up the remnants of their dinner.

Nikki observed Harry's profile thoughtfully, and then smiled.

"How long have you been planning on asking me out?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes."

"But would you rather know where we're going on Friday?"

"That's a tricky one…"

"Good. I'll take these down to the bins before I go to my car."

"Haaaarrrrry!"

"See you tomorrow," Harry responded, stooping to kiss Nikki's forehead.

"Pleeeeeeaase?"

Nikki stood up, following Harry to her door.

"I've had the tickets for a week," Harry conceded as he opened the door."But I've been wanting to ask you out since my birthday." Harry finished as he let the door close behind him.

Nikki paused, made her way to her sofa, then giggled softly.

They were finally getting their act together.

But she still didn't know where Harry was taking her after dinner on Friday.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Being a single male, there had been many occasions where Leo called Harry in the evening, sheepishly asking if Harry could go visit a body as he and Janet were doing something _together_. And Harry usually obliged, telling Leo that one day he'd be asking for a night off.

And it was through asking for Friday night off that Leo came to realise that something was _going on_ between Harry and Nikki.

It had started with an innocent knock against the door frame and Harry brows furrowed as he looked at the open file in his hands.

"Look Leo, there's no way I could say definitively that the amount of morphine in Mr. Fisher's system at time of death suggests foul play. For God's sake, this man had been terminally ill and the tumour had metastasised to his lungs, bones and brain at the time of his death. You'll have to deal with the insurance people, because I've been put on hold for the past hour, and it may be because I've been blacklisted for being a nuisance."

"Fine. Is there anything else?" Leo asked, not expecting an affirmative answer.

"Err, yeah, actually. Could you cover for me on Friday evening? I know I wouldn't usually ask, but I'm doing something I've wanted to do for a while, and we don't have as many people downstairs as usual."

"Have you asked Nikki?"

"Well, I couldn't really ask her because she's coming with me…"

"Oh. Ok. Well, that's fine. And leave the Fisher file with me and could you get started on a Mrs. Strallen. One of the techs should have put the file on your desk this morning."

As Harry returned to his desk, Leo paused, looked at Nikki and Harry, and wondered what the two were up to.

In recent months they had been as close as they ever were, and perhaps near the brink of an abyss they couldn't see.

Perhaps they had knocked their heads together again, and had for once come up with the right answer.

Leo shook his head. He was probably imagining that something was happening between them: looking into something that wasn't there.

* * *

><p>As luck would have it, Nikki and Harry were able to enjoy their date without work casting a gloom.<p>

In terms of first dates, it wasn't a typical first date for them. They already knew everything about each other. There was no point in them attempting to hide their deficiencies from one another or the possibility of a topic of conversation that would end with awkwardness.

In that respect, it was the easiest first date either had ever been on.

Nikki still hadn't a clue where Harry was taking her after dinner. She had pestered him constantly at work and via text, and hadn't let up while they were enjoying dinner. But Harry's lips were firmly sealed shut on the matter, and there was little she could do, and she didn't bring it up over dinner.

After their dinner, as Harry was trying to flag down a taxi, Nikki thought that the evening had the makings of being the best first date she'd ever been on.

Harry impatiently looked for a taxi. Although it would have been easier on the finances to walk, it was a date and not their usual non-date outing, and Harry was determined that everything would be perfect.

Finally, a black cab stopped and Nikki was soon to find out where Harry was taking her.

* * *

><p>Nikki had been surprised with Harry's choice of concert.<p>

It would have taken a lot of digging to find out about the concert, and Harry must have thought hard about what she liked.

It had also made her wish she spent more time with her cello. But that was neither here nor there.

Harry had been the perfect gentleman all evening.

He had picked her up, opened doors for her, helped her to her chair and paid for everything.

And Nikki really liked that.

The evening wasn't over though.

Harry was leading Nikki towards an ice cream stand, one of her many weaknesses, and told her to order whatever she wanted.

And once Harry heard the order, he swore to himself never to allow Nikki that much freedom with frozen dessert ever again.

Under any other circumstance, Harry would have made a smart comment on Nikki's impossible metabolism, and the inevitability that age would have on it in the future.

However, because it was a first date, Harry held his tongue, and instead decided to allow himself to take pleasure from just being with Nikki as himself, not just as best friend or work colleague.

They wandered through an empty park, one that during the day would have been filled with parents of young children, and they sat on a bench overlooking the play equipment.

Nikki broke the comfortable silence.

"Thank you for tonight," she said quietly. "It was perfect."

"Even when I almost tripped over the elderly lady at the restaurant and the _maître d'_ gave me the dirty look?"

"Well, almost perfect then. But you chose everything really well. I don't think anyone else but you would have even thought about taking me to the concert tonight."

"I'm glad. I wanted tonight to be special. It's our first proper, official date. The first of many dates, I hope."

Nikki smiled shyly at Harry.

"I hope so too."

* * *

><p>After finishing their ice creams, Harry suggested spending some time on the swings.<p>

"But Harry, I'm rubbish at the swings. I'll only go if you push me. I could never get very high without help."

"How about I teach you, and if I'm a terrible teacher, _then_ I'll push you."

"Deal."

After much giggling (from Nikki) and frustrated sighs (from Harry), Nikki was soaring through the air, making her teacher proud.

Harry sat on the adjoining swing, and quickly caught up with the pace of Nikki's swing.

"I love being on the swings. It was one of the few things I used to do with Dad. I could think for a while that I was invincible and that I could somehow make everything right."

"That's a wonderful memory to have, Harry. One day you'll be teaching our kids to swing like a pro… I know you'll make an exceptional father."

There was a moment of silence as they were swinging in time with each other.

_Our kids_, Harry thought, _she said _our kids_. She's serious about this scheme, this pact_.

"I like that. _Our kids._" Harry said, testing the words out loud.

"It does sound exciting. Our kids. Can you imagine us as parents, Harry?"

"I suppose I could. You'd be a wonderful mother."

Later they slid on the slide and tested the seesaw.

And they decided that the park was ideal for the kids they would have in the future.

Before midnight, Harry returned Nikki to her flat, and kissed her goodnight at the door.

But what he really wanted to do was tell her he loved her.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

It had been three months since The First Date, and there had been many other dates since then.

They went on special outings and fancy dinners, but both were careful to make sure there was not too much drinking, because they didn't want to forget the time they were sharing together. Sometimes it was Harry that planned it, other times it was Nikki, but they were always happy just being together after a difficult day in the office.

In the first month, they had been afraid of telling others about the change in their relationship. The change was new to them, something they had each thought about for a while but had never really prepared themselves for. They knew that the standard reaction amongst friends and colleagues would be 'finally, it took you two long enough'. However, they wanted to have some peace, even for a short while, where they could be themselves together and not on show.

That wasn't to say they weren't excited about the evolution in their relationship from best friends to being a couple. They had been shy on the physical aspect of the relationship, which had never been a real issue in their previous relationships. At first it was because simply kissing felt somewhat odd, however the last few dates had ended with heavy making out sessions. They knew there was a purpose to the relationship that there hadn't been in all their previous relationships, however the words "I love you" were yet to be exchanged between them. The passion was there, but they had both been somewhat afraid of crossing the final frontier, both still afraid that something could go wrong.

They knew this fear wasn't rational, but the issue had been undiscussed, causing a mix of frustration and excitement in both of them. There had been times, conversations, where the issue had almost arisen, but there was always something stopping them, a phone call, a distraction, an excuse.

It hadn't been until nearly a month until they told Leo about the progression of their friendship, although they had not divulged to him the agreement they had made of marriage. Soon after that, the news had made its ways to the techs and the faculty staff, and the expected ribbing had died down within the week. While they weren't flaunting their relationship at work, it was clear to anyone with two eyes and a functioning brain that the two pathologists were more than just colleagues or friends.

As expected, Leo was delighted and not very surprised. In the way that males tended to express themselves, he didn't say much, but he was happy for the two of them for finally sorting themselves out. That hadn't stopped him from giving Harry a friendly reminder to be careful of not breaking Nikki's heart, and all the things he'd do to Harry if he did. And then added that he expected to hear wedding bells soon.

This left Harry confused as to whether Leo knew of their pact, or if Leo had been very observant and the two of them very dim.

Janet had been more outspoken with her approval, insisting that the four of them went out on a proper double date, which Harry was desperate to avoid, mumbling something about how odd it would be to be double dating with the boss.

But he had overheard giggly conversations between Nikki and Janet over the phone, and there was a sense that Janet was Nikki's surrogate mother, hearing about some of their exploits as though it was Nikki's first proper, serious, grown up relationship, and this gladdened his heart.

And everything seemed as it always had been before in the office.

* * *

><p>The anniversary of Harry's father's death was marked by a distinct sense of seriousness for Harry, as he once again considered his life, what he had achieved and what he hoped for in the future. For a long time, his future was bleak, where he didn't hope for or aspire to anything particularly meaningful.<p>

People had always commented on Harry's likeness to his father, tall, dark haired with a face that tended to look stern in moments of deep thought. Harry's mother couldn't help but attribute his faults to his father, particularly with his temperament. His greatest fear was becoming like his father, which had for a long time caused him to be distant in all his relationships, afraid that he would hurt them in the end like his father had injured him. For most of his life, the future was nothing but barren, alone, lonely.

But now with Nikki, all the expectations and dreams he had locked away when he was eight, and tried to keep concealed was suddenly tangible for him. He could think about having a family and not feel guilty, ashamed or selfish for having such fantasies.

It wasn't until late in the evening when he told Nikki what he had been thinking about all day. They were sitting on Nikki's couch, having enjoyed a bottle of red after dinner, Nikki holding Harry's hand and resting her head on his shoulder. Nikki had noticed Harry's melancholy, and knew it was almost certainly had something to do with his father's death.

Harry began speaking tentatively about his father, what he was afraid of becoming, and what he hoped for, what he felt he could now dream, and Nikki listened quietly, knowing that the time for her to speak would be later.

"I know this will seem like a daft question, but do I make you happy, Nikki? Because if you aren't, or you don't think you could be when we're married, we're better off ending this foolish thing now, before either of us can get even more hurt."

"Yes, Harry, you make me happy. More than I had ever imagined or dreamed" _because you are the only person I could ever love _she thought.

"Good, because I know I'd be happy with you for the rest of my life" _because I love you_ he silently added.

And then a little bit more hesitantly, he asked the question he had really wanted to ask the first time. "Do you think that you could eventually fall in love with me?"

Nikki didn't know how to answer. She did love Harry, as a woman loved a man, but she was afraid of Harry's reaction. What if Harry didn't love her _yet_ in that way?

"I can't… I don't…" Nikki obfuscated. "It's just…"

Harry felt his heart drop, just a little, and he chuckled sadly. "It's OK Nikki. You don't have to give me an answer now. I'd just like to know, because I'm sure I'm well on the way to being hopelessly in love with you."

He hadn't meant to say that, to open his heart as much as he just had, but the words had been spoken and there was no turning back.

They sat in thoughtful silence for a while, the tension between them palpable.

They both thought about love, what it meant if they were both in love with each other, how much easier it would be for them, and how much more difficult if their love was unrequited.

Then she spoke.

"I love you too, Harry."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

They hadn't referred to the agreement since the declaration of love.

And it was on both their minds.

It was two months before Harry's fortieth, and Nikki was worried that Harry was having second thoughts. Obviously her mind knew that was nonsense, because they were in love, but the heart was an irrational mistress. And she felt that because the whole scheme had been Harry's idea, he would have to be the one to bring it up. So there was a chance that they two of them would be dead before they were married.

Harry wasn't fairing much better. He didn't know how to bring it up, and he was seriously considering consulting Leo on how to sort this mess he and Nikki had found themselves in. He felt Nikki deserved a grand gesture, something they could tell stories about in thirty, forty, fifty years time, rather than a rather embarrassing story about them being drunk. Grand gestures meant planning, time and effort, which was the least Nikki deserved.

So Harry decided it was time to start planning. And he'd need Leo's help.

* * *

><p>Nikki knew something was up.<p>

At first she hadn't been suspicious, because he suggested visiting his mother now they were 'officially' a couple and it _just so happened_ that the nearby airfield was having its annual charity fundraiser.

But there was something not quite right. Leo knew something she didn't about the weekend. The two men seemed to be speaking privately a lot more than usual, and it didn't appear to be the usual telling off for being hopelessly behind on his reports. In fact, it was unusual for Harry and Leo to be speaking in Leo's office so often without her. Nikki knew that neither Harry nor Leo were handling any delicate cases, and the constant glances towards her as they spoke suggested they were talking about her.

Usually she would have recognised the look if Leo was concerned about her and wanted Harry to check up on her, or if Leo wanted Harry to get on with his work. But this look wasn't one she had seen before. Harry looked somewhat apprehensive while Leo appeared to be encouraging Harry.

It was all a bit odd.

One thing that Harry found ridiculous about Nikki was her belief that every look had a specific meaning. And she didn't rest as Harry dodged her at every turn as she attempted to interpret what the looks Leo and Harry kept giving her were about.

Leo was the weak link in the chain, and she decided to focus her energy on getting the truth out of him.

* * *

><p>Harry was thankful that Nikki hadn't tried to harass the plan out of him, having decided that Leo was an easier target. But like a petulant daughter trying to get what she want, Leo was equally steadfast as a stern father, insisting that what she wanted wasn't what she wanted at all. Harry was certain that Nikki wouldn't be too happy if Leo revealed the truth of Harry's plans. In fact, she would probably have words with Janet and have Leo in the doghouse.<p>

It had taken him a while to think about how he should propose, and with the Leo's assistance, the whole weekend was planned, down to the very minute.

Now he was waiting for the end of the working week.

* * *

><p>It was early Friday noon, and Nikki knew something was going on.<p>

And for some ridiculous reason, it had got into her head that Harry was going to propose soon.

It was ridiculous because Harry had never been very good at planning things. If anything, he would blurt out a proposal as if it was something he had to remember to buy at the shops. Or some other inappropriate time, like at a crime scene. Or when they were both drunk.

Her phone rang, and she was informed of a possible suicide she was needed at.

What Harry was up to would have to wait.

* * *

><p>After a rather distressing crime scene, all Nikki wanted was to be with Harry.<p>

But he had called her, telling her that he was at his Mum's. She had slipped in the shower and the doctors wanted her to be watched overnight in case of a concussion. They had planned to make their way to Anne's on Saturday morning, and Harry insisted she keep with the original plan.

He had even set the GPS in her car for her, telling her to turn it on and listen to where it led.

Nikki was confused as to how and why Harry had already got to her GPS, but was glad that he had the foresight to do it. Anne had moved to some village that Harry had described as being in the middle of nowhere, and without Harry as a guide; the chances were she'd never get there herself. The GPS had merely been a decoration in her car, having never figured out how to change the language mode from Korean to English.

* * *

><p>Harry had been busy over the week.<p>

He had a long talk with his mother and Leo about taking the next step with Nikki. They listened to him and had berated him for being slow and dimwitted in realising he loved Nikki.

He had compiled a list of significant places, and programmed a particular route into Nikki's satnav.

He had specifically told Nikki to follow where the satnav led, and planned to be about half an hour ahead of her, leaving clues for her to find.

With so many things that could possibly go wrong, Harry hoped particularly that it wouldn't start raining, Nikki wouldn't get incredibly lost, and that there wouldn't be a disaster in London where he and Nikki would have to be called in.

* * *

><p>Nikki was so careful in following the instructions the satnav gave her she hadn't realised where she was going until she arrived at the airfield Harry had taken her to when he had revealed he had wanted to be a pilot.<p>

And by the fence there was an envelope with her name on it.

Something was definitely up, and she cursed the lack of reception as she attempted to call Harry.

Collecting the envelope, she found a note inside.

"I cannot fix on the hour, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I _had_ begun."

She recognised it was a quote from Pride and Prejudice. About when Mr. Darcy realised he was in love with Lizzy.

And she knew her hunch about Harry proposing was probably right.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **I've been very selfish and have kept this chapter to myself for a very long time... I wasn't happy with it when I first wrote it, then uni started and it's been a very intense two semesters. Oh, and I think the announcement of Tom Ward leaving Silent Witness somehow contributed to my writing drought.

However, now I'm a provisionally accredited, unemployed teacher with a lot of free time, so I will hopefully have this done by Christmas.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirteen<strong>

There had been another note in the envelope, instructing Nikki to go back to the car, and follow where the satnav led.

So she got back into the car, and for a moment just sat in the drivers seat, her hand on the steering wheel, and trembled in excitement.

She had to physically shake herself to bring her back to reality, put on her seatbelt and follow the instructions of the disembodied voice on her dashboard.

The voice directed her back to the motorway, but instead of heading back to London, she found herself heading north. They hadn't had many shared experiences the direction she was heading, as it was out of their jurisdiction as Home Office Pathologists, and the last thing either wanted to do in their free time was drive for hours and then be called back for work.

But there had been a few conferences.

And then she knew where she was heading.

The Hearts of Oak.

Where he had first kissed her.

Admittedly just to shut her up, but that was where the maelstrom of feelings had started.

Before it had just been a bit of a crush, but after that first kiss, a secret hope had planted itself into her mind and heart.

Confident of where she was heading, she concentrated on keeping to the road rules, resisting the urge to get there as quickly as humanly possible.

* * *

><p>It was still early enough that the pub was fairly empty when Nikki got there. She hadn't known where to look, but it looked as though Harry had bribed the barkeeper to keep a lookout for her. Nikki hesitantly made her way to the bar when the man behind the bar gruffly asked if she was Nikki, before handing a note to her.<p>

Nikki thanked the barkeeper, who went back to cleaning glasses with a tea towel that had seen better days, and made her way outside.

Opening the envelope, she read _"I was just wondering if you were available for Bar Mitzvahs and Christenings in addition to Ruby Weddings"_

Nikki laughed aloud. Bridget Jones' Diary was one of the few films where she had to explain the plot to Harry. Many evenings had been spent arguing over the whole genre of romantic-comedy, and the impact chick flicks had on realistic expectations on romantic relationships. For so long they had discussed the improbability of purely platonic friendships between males and females, especially where the best friends were heterosexual. They had argued on an intellectual level that it was a fallacy to believe that all best friends of opposite sex would inevitably come to a romantic entanglement.

Just because they had been best friends who had happened to fall in love wasn't the point.

Turning on the car, the satnav directed her back towards the motorway. Nikki noticed she was heading in the direction of London, and wondered where Harry had chosen next.

She thought back of all the places she had been with Harry. A great number of places, other than each other's flats, were crime scenes. There had been a memorable few, but she doubted any were significant enough to be deemed as a special place for both of them.

Perhaps the university?

It was a bit obvious, being the first place they'd met, where they spent the majority of their time together.

Of course, there were significant conversations that were had at the university, moments that had been stolen, moments that had been highly charged, moments that had never eventuated into anything.

Those moments where they had been so close to each other, moments where they knew what the other thought, moments where everything could have changed but nothing did.

* * *

><p>She was back in London.<p>

At the Lyell Centre, as she had expected.

Not knowing where to go, she headed to her desk.

_His_ desk.

And there on the desk was a beautiful bunch of flowers and a note.

_If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. _

All she felt was a giddy sort of anticipation.

She _knew_.

She felt like a kid that had taken a peek at the Christmas presents, and knew she was going to get what she had always wanted.

* * *

><p>As she approached the park, the park where they had first soberly talked about getting married, Nikki wished she had stopped back home and made herself more... <em>presentable<em>.

She had never considered herself vain, but she wanted this moment to be perfect. And knowing her luck, the proposal would probably be recorded on a passerby's mobile phone and uploaded on to Youtube before she had even said yes.

Because there wasn't any other answer.

* * *

><p>She first saw Harry's back.<p>

His strong back, the back of the person she depended on most.

He was running his hands through his hair, as he did when he was impatient, anxious, frustrated.

Then he turned around.

And smiled.

_Finally_.

* * *

><p>"You make me happier than I ever thought I'd deserve..."<p>

"Yes, Harry, yes!"

"But I haven't even asked you the question yet."

"I don't care. My answer will always be yes."

Nikki never noticed the people with their phone out, recording.

* * *

><p>After they had done the things couples did when they were just engaged, the kissing, the hugging, the jumping and the I-love-you's, they settled on the rug that Harry had set out.<p>

Harry took something out of his pocket and showed it to Nikki.

"I had a speech all planned out. I was going to bend on one knee and everything... But I should have known by now not to have things planned when it comes to you, Nikki Alexander. I spent forever looking for a ring, but when I saw this one, I knew it was yours"

"It's lovely, Harry. Today's been so special, I can't believe you kept this all a secret from me, though. But I bet Leo helped. And your mother must have known about it too."

Harry laughed.

"Everyone's in it but you... I had to beg Leo to give us both the day off today, and I think we owe him the firstborn."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Quotes from Bridget Jones' Diary and Emma. Please leave a review... or yell at me for taking so long to update :D


	14. Epilogue

****A/N**: **Thanks for all of you that stuck by this story, that left a review, followed or favourited this story. It was a joy and a challenge to write, and I felt that this was probably the best way I could end this particular story of Harry and Nikki.

* * *

><p><strong>Epilogue<strong>

There was an announcement.

Murmurs of "_finally"_.

Money changing hands.

The idea of a big wedding was quickly thrown out.

The idea of a quickie at the registry was also quickly thrown out.

They settled on an intimate ceremony in Leo's back garden in the late afternoon on the eve of Harry's fortieth.

* * *

><p>Their honeymoon was two weeks away from death and murder and annoying DI's.<p>

When they returned to their real lives and work death, Nikki suspected she was on bump-watch.

* * *

><p><em>A few months later<em>

Harry had been offered a professorship in New York.

And they both knew that this offer wasn't going to come back for a third time, so they uprooted across the pond.

While Nikki had been concerned about finding a job, Harry had been in the position to welcome her into the faculty, a condition that he had negotiated when he accepted the professorship.

And so it seemed that everything was as it should be.

* * *

><p>In due time, there were children, and the desire of returning home to England.<p>

And just at that time, Leo told them of a posting in Cambridge, and they did return home.

And the lives of Harry and Nikki continued just as they had always hoped.

**fin.**

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Please leave a review and tell me what you think about this story of H and N.


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